


Let Us Go There and Gather the Blue Lotus

by Nevski



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Drug Use, From Stupid to Lovers, Humor, Just Plain Disgusting, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:46:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevski/pseuds/Nevski
Summary: Mac and Charlie sniff glue and look at some quality art.
Relationships: Charlie Kelly/Mac McDonald
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Let Us Go There and Gather the Blue Lotus

**Author's Note:**

> Yes.

Loud banging at the door continued.

It has taken long for him to realize it wasn’t Frank coughing next to him. Charlie had patted the dirty mattress with his hand to make him stop before the older man’s absence hit him.

He turned around blinking his eyes. It was bright outside, and he was pretty sure he was owing his landlord only $200 bucks.

When the horrible sound continued, he had no choice but to go to check it out.

“You look terrible, dude”, Mac blurted out.

Charlie blinked, looking at Mac’s shirt. Its sleeves had clearly been cut out and he was wearing cargo shorts with black, white, and grey camo print.

If only Dennis was there to groan at him.

Charlie on the other hand was wearing a t-shirt with the previous day’s taco dish on it, so he for once realized that he was the bum in the situation.

“Yeah, and you have hair gel, man”, he said, sounding whiney. “Who uses ‘non-edible’ gel?”

He made obnoxiously clear quotation marks for his comment.

“Who uses ‘non-edible’ -” Mac groaned. “You know, I’m not even gonna ask. Let me in, man, you gotta see what I got.”

Charlie waved his hands, but let Mac push him aside. He rushed straight to the bed even if his expression was a bit worried when he sat down on the sofa.

Who knew what Charlie or Frank were up to on it? Mac wasn’t sure were even they themselves aware that two grown, probably related men having sex with women and even sleeping on the same bed was a bit too much.

But Frank wasn’t brought up in a catholic school and Charlie hadn’t at least _read_ the rules there, so it wasn’t a fucking miracle that they were living straight up on the edge of damnation.

“What’s it?” Charlie asked, tiredly.

He wasn’t sure if he left Frank at the bar last night, or at the strip club. Or did he altogether move out. It was all a big blur. More so than usual. And Charlie did have memory issues.

A sudden loud yell snapped Charlie out of his thoughts.

“Ew, what the fuck man?” Mac held his hand in the air, all sticky from something that he had managed to sit on. “The fuck is this?”

Charlie looked at his hand and then at the couch. To be sure, he touched the brown wet stain on the sheets. To Mac’s devastation, he then rubbed his index finger on the inside of his cheek.

“Dog sausage.”

“Dog sausage?!” Mac yelled, his face turning red. “Do you have a fucking dog, Charlie?”

Charlie shrugged and started to fold the sheet so it would cover the stain.

“No, it’s sausage made -”

“Don’t you fucking say it.”

“- Made out of dogs.”

Mac winced and rushed to the window. He just huffed there for a second. Somewhere else he would’ve leaned on the windowsill to elevate his form as his high-end model poses made him feel more powerful. In Charlie’s flat he couldn’t be too sure what the windowsill was covered in and he was too afraid to ask so he just stood there, looking at the dirty saucepans and toilet brushes.

He was pretty sure those were used toilet brushes from the bar.

“Why the hell would you think it’s made out of actual fucking dogs?” he shouted, not able to contain himself further.

“They do eat that in Chinatown, don’t they?” Charlie yelled back. As usual, he was being prosecuted by one of the other members of the gang as some kind of imbecile, but he was not quite sure why. It just was apparent from Mac’s tone.

“Chinatown?” Mac responded. “Chinatown? You mean America’s Chinatown? That can’t fucking be a thing. Where did you get it?”

“Down the street”, Charlie referred to his nearest corner shop.

“Yeah, that’s sausage made _for_ dogs. Who the fuck would eat that shit anyways?”

“It’s for a night snack, like for after me and Frank are done playing night worms.”

“Okay. Okay”, Mac threw his hands above his head. “I’m not even going to go there. Could we just get on with what I had in mind?”

He went back to the sofa and carefully sat to the very other end of it. The plastic bag he had brought with him had dropped on the floor and it tried to stick, when he snatched it back.

Charlie sat on the dog sausage end of the couch. He didn’t see any need to clean it more, he should’ve anyways put the bed in for the day. For what though?

Mac opened the plastic bag to pull out a paper bag from it.

“I brought glue!” he said, very pleased with himself.

“Cool, man!”

Charlie had a hard time to stay on his seat. He started to jump on his butt like it was Christmas again. Oh, did he love that free porridge they gave out at the community center. And the teeth-chipping almonds hidden in it, which he usually put in his pockets to put in the rat traps later. They worked much more sloppily than he'd like. Who wouldn’t want to suck a pocket nut?

Sometimes he thought he’d been a much better rat than those little fuckers down at the Paddy’s. At least a more appreciative one.

“Yeah, let’s pop this motherfucker!” Mac exclaimed.

He opened the paper wrapped around the lid and opened the screw. He took a long breath without putting his nose too close on it.

“Do you smell that shit?”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, that’s some quality shit, man! Where did you get it?”

“Some fucker Cricket was hanging out with gave it to me.”

Mac left out the part where he had just plain tormented Cricket despite his clearly ill condition, just because Cricket had assumed that Mac would be into that street shit giving him a blowjob. Nah-uh, he had kicked a few teeth in and repossessed the glue that random fucker was about to give to Cricket in exchange for a BJ.

“That a nice, it must be some good street glue then”, Charlie smiled.

Mac did _not_ want to ask what Charlie expected street glue to be or why he thought there were differences between them - or why in the hell in general would Cricket hold somehow superior glue.

He pushed the glue to Charlie.

“You first, you look like a turd.”

Charlie shrugged. His hair seemed sticky and as usual, he was wearing only boxer shorts and a t-shirt. The boxers had more holes in them than cloth itself.

Charlie really should get some of those free clothes they handed out at the community center at Christmas. Their jackets were usually fucking fly, Mac thought.

The shorter man took a deep breath out of the bottle.

“Man, that’s some shit”, he coughed while handing Mac the bag.

“Dude, did I fucking stutter?” Mac laughed and followed.

Charlie hit his forehead like he had forgotten something essential. “Hey, I have a video we should check out. Frank brought it, I think it was in Dennis’ old junk, from their mother’s house, you know.”

He sprinted to the small TV lodged on top of the wobbly shelter. There was a cassette on the VHS player. He took it out of the box and pushed it in the machine.

“What’s that”, Mac coughed.

Charlie handed him the box.

“For reals, Charlie, what is this shit?” Mac stared at the title. “Two Girls and a Cup… Man, this _does_ have Dennis written all over it.”

“It’s collector’s edition”, Charlie said, kind of proudly.

“There can’t be such a thing”, Mac stared, eyes fixed on the picture on it. “Man, this is written like, with a marker pen or something.”

Charlie shrugged. “That’s what Frank said.”

“Ew, man, you watched this with Frank?”

Mac tried to get the image out of his head, but it proved much harder than he thought. Frank wasn’t exactly a beaut even with his clothes on, but thinking of him jacking off on the very dog sausage couch he sat gave Mac the creeps.

Charlie didn’t reply as he didn’t realize there was a question.

He sat back next to Mac and took the glue.

It was quite accustomed to jack off to shit like that in their gang. It was almost a communal practice. Dennis for one had a great taste for filming his great sexual successes and he was very pleased to show them to Frank, Mac and/or Charlie.

Although it was also a clear-cut deal that they shouldn’t watch each other while at it.

Mac had always struggled with it. Dennis seemed to know all the latest tricks to handle his junk and Mac would’ve killed to get some lessons.

“Ew, you see that -” Charlie did not have to explain his terrified tone as Mac was grunting to the very same thing.

He sniffed some more glue while still handling his dick through his boxers. He had opened his fly, but he still hadn’t touched himself directly.

Mac thieved a look at Charlie’s progress while he was making a number out of some more nastiness before them.

Charlie’s cock had slipped through his boxers. They really were a sorry excuse for an undergarment. He rubbed it in his fist sloppily.

What Mac hadn’t prepared for, was Charlie looking straight back at him.

“Hey, man, pass the stuff and stop looking at me.”

Mac turned his head quickly at the video. His cheeks got a burning red color on them.

“Sorry, it must’ve been the glue”, Mac blurted. “It’s the stuff, I tell ya.”

Charlie shrugged with a complying look on his face. “It’s the street glue power, man.”

Mac grunted a bit but didn’t start a fight over it. Maybe Charlie had been right all along. Everything had started to feel quite dissociative.

“Hey, you wanna a BJ?” Mac said, before he got too repetitive in his thoughts.

Charlie swallowed and looked around to find out there was not someone else in the studio apartment with them. He hadn’t started totally dropping yet, but he felt it coming. It was like blood gushing behind his eyes and deep in his nostrils.

He took a long sniff out the glue.

“No eye-contact, okay?” he said nervously.

* * *

The noise coming from the apartment was mildly disturbing but not too concerning. The moans and cries from the TV set mixed with deeper moans.

Dennis just wished he didn’t walk in on Frank having sex with Artemis. Again.

Just seconds later he would’ve taken that thought back.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

The loud, desperate yell was enough to startle both huffing males near the couch. It was definitely the back of Mac’s head that was fixated between Charlie's hairy thighs. And Charlie’s mouth that let out the more masculine sounds in the room, indicating that he was nearing his durability.

“Oh my fucking god, cover that shit”, Dennis shrieked and threw some random pants from the floor on top of Mac’s head.

“And oh, okay, this is _mine_.”

He forced the VHS tape out of the player and grabbed its box before storming out of the flat.

“We were watching it!” Charlie yelled after him.

Mac pushed the jeans angrily off him.

“The fuck was his problem?” he stuttered after releasing Charlie’s cock out of his mouth. “Oh god, don’t tell me that was _his_ special edition video?”

Charlie shrugged, as he wasn’t up to answering the question. He coughed and inhaled the glue once again. He tugged Mac’s hair lazily.

“Man, I was almost there.”

“We still have glue, right?”

After loudly swallowing, Charlie nodded. Yeah, they wouldn’t remember a thing the next day. He sniffed some more and let his head drop back, eyes rolling back when Mac sucked his cock back into his mouth.

* * *

The only thing illuminating the apartment was the TV showing irregular snowfall.

Frank kicked his shoes off and was about to lie down when he noticed the bed fuller than he had left it.

He stood for a while when his eyes got used to the darkness. Charlie was spooning with someone under the sheets, leaving Frank with an uncovered mattress. The older man hardly saw the hairy arm pitching under Charlie’s side.

He shrugged. Each to their own appetite, he thought. Charlie just better not try to cuddle him without boxers on. Not including the night worms, of course.

He pushed the pile of hairy limbs as far from his side of the couch as he could and lied down. When something hard hit his pelvis, he turned to Channel 6 to examine the object in a brighter light.

Frank uncovered the bottle from the paper bag. Some of it had run on the mattress, as apparently either of the other men on the couch hadn’t seen necessary to put the cap back on. The bright red bottle smelled really off.

He rose to examine the bottle nearer the TV’s light.

It was superglue. Frank looked closer at the back of the bottle. _Non-toxic_. He looked at the happy couple more attentively than before.

Oh boy, did they have a treat in the morning, he thought before tugging himself in. He let the TV stay on for a while as he unwrapped a dog sausage roll he had stored in his bedside plastic bag.


End file.
